EL FRANCONOMICON / I'M IN A JESS FRANCO STATE OF MIND

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Jess Franco’s XXX Files: FALO CREST (1987)

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Alternate title: CAPRICES SADOS POUR SALOPES DU PLAISIR/Producer: Phalos Films, Madrid/Director: Lennie Hayden [Jess Franco & Lina Romay]/Screenplay: Lennie Hayden, Lowel Richmond [J. Franco & L. Romay]/DP: Terry de Corsia [Jess Franco]/Music: Daniel J. White/Edited by Rosa Maria Almirall [L. Romay]/Agfacolor/Approx. 80m. Widescreen.

Cast: Jane Morgan (Marzan) [Lina Romay], Gina Corrington, Andre’ White, Brenda Haven [Elisa Mateo], John First [C.Gonzalez Ordi], Mel Power [A. Bartos Velasco], Linda Ewing [M. Fernandez Moreno, Sado Summers [Jose Miguel Garcia Marfa, Carlos

Robert Monell's photo.
*

Quiroga. Also listed in adverts: Fess Parker [!], Lola Falona, Twin Welamy, Wendy Cano, Andrew White, Sigurney Grant. Shooting locations: Benidorm.

One of two parodies of 1980s hit US television series, this one taking off from FALCON CREST. This one slightly superior to PHOLLASTIA, which parodied DYNASTY. There’s not as much characterization here and the settings aren’t as “upscale” as the other but a nonstop torrent of bitchy, sometimes amusing dialogue, which only Jess Franco could have written, saves this from being just another boring fuck and suck fest.

The ridiculous excuse for a “plot” involves an ongoing conflict with the Carrington family from o. Both hot to trot families are attempting to gain the rights for aphrodisiac fruit which grows on the inherited Channing estate. The hostess dreams that her guests will drink her mixture of wine and semen. Everyone ends up imbibing and a lengthy orgy ensues. Twosome, threesome, and moresome encounters rule the evening until everyone is drunk on sex and more sex.

The action unfolds in “real” time before and during the party on the Channing properties. Melissa Channing hosts the affair with zest and a clever plot to get the rights signed over to her without any hitches. The orange drink is mixed with “delicious” semen and drunk like champagne as a wife remarks, “It’s so embarrassing to see my husband shoot cum in public!” as another woman drinks the spent semen out of a Phallo Crest wine glass. More witty Franco dialogue ensues until the company collapses into a heap of sweaty flesh. Lots of gynecological close-ups of sex acts make up most of the runtime here.  Lina Romay’s brisk editing does keep things moving….

Neither of the two hardcore spin offs of popular American TV shows became profitable due to the miscalculation of spending too much on professional hardcore actors and the costs of the productions themselves. When they were finally sold the price barely covered the costs and there wasn’t a huge audience for what must have seemed like a clever marketing idea.

It should be noted that Angela Channing in the original FALCON CREST TV SERIES was played by Jane Wyman, the former wife of Ronald Reagan, who was President of the United States during most of the series run.

Falcon Crest (TV Series 1981–1990) – IMDb

*1980s era Spanish VHS covers. No DVD releases. Thanks to Alex Mendibil and Ferran Herranz for the images.

(C) Robert Monell, 2015

Written by Robert Monell

12 abril 2015 a 11:02 PM

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